Saturday, April 10, 2010

David Asper on Dragon's Den

Asper: I'm here on behalf of Creswin to ask for a $75 million dollar loan for 0% equity in my new enterprise.

O'Leary: What's the loan for?

Asper: To build a new building to house my new enterprise.

O'Leary: How long will it take you to pay back the loan?

Asper: I'm not sure. I might not pay it back at all. If my current enterprise isn't profitable then I want to be able to walk away from the loan.

O'Leary: You want us to just forget the loan?

Asper: Yes

O'Leary: What is this current enterprise that you're talking about?

Asper: A shopping mall

O'Leary: What's it's sales?

Asper: Sales? There are no sales, it's not even built yet.

O'Leary: Not built? Why? Do you have any tenants committed at least?

Asper: No. We're having trouble. It doesn't seem to be working out the way we planned.

O'Leary: Ok, well, do you have anything else for collateral?

Asper: I have a stake in a multi-billion dollar media empire.

O'Leary: Oh, now you're talking. What are the profits?

Asper: Well, actually it's bankrupt and has been delisted from the stock exchange.

O'Leary: So it's not "multi-billion" anymore?

Asper: No. More like a few hundred.

O'Leary: Million?

Asper: Maybe thousand.

O'Leary: Ok, just so I understand, you have a current enterprise that is not going well and may not even come to fruition and you want us to give you a $75 million loan to allow you to build a building for a new enterprise with repayment terms that allow you to not have to pay back a cent if your current enterprise, the one that's not built yet, has no sales, and isn't going well, doesn't turn a profit? And on top of that you've recently run a multi-billion dollar media empire into bankruptcy?

Asper: Yes, exactly.

O'Leary: Are you nuts?!?! I'M OUT!

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